Graduating and Growing Up

Well, I'm almost done. Tomorrow morning at 8 am I take my final exam in Latin, and that's that. Done with the undergraduate degree, except for the walk, shake hands, and smile bit that comes on May 13th.

I've played my senior recital, played the Haydn Creation with orchestra and combined choirs here (my last orchestra concert ever as an undergraduate), taken my organ final test with Dr. B, played Mendelssohn Quartet in a minor Op. 13 (ah-MAZ-ing piece) in the chamber music recital, and passed piano proficiency (I never bothered to take the test until today, so it's a good thing I passed on the first try!). A lot of 'lasts' have been taking place for me. It's weird. Kind of sad, actually. It's about time to start packing things up. Not that I'm going very far; I'm moving into another on-campus dorm for summer housing. I'm living with Irene, which I'm excited about.

I accepted a job as a summer intern with the Admissions department. It doesn't pay a lot, but I decided it was a better option than my other option. And once I decided, my parents said they thought I had made the right decision, which helped me feel better about taking the job, even though it pays half of what my other option would have paid. It should be mostly enjoyable, except that... I met the other girl who's working in the same position this summer, and she's basically that kid. "Oh, I'm a super-duper student, with tons of honors, and did I mention that I'm going to Duke for grad school in the fall? What are your plans for after this summer?"

I like to pretend to people that I'm taking time off from school and hanging around in the area doing nothing of value or worth for a while because that's what I want, instead of because I'm an insecure fool with either a) no talent or b) no direction or c) not enough confidence to believe that I might have talent and to actually take a step in some direction.

Anyway, really, I think that once school really finishes up and I get settled into my new groove, things won't be so bad. It'll be nice to have a break from school, after five years of college. It'll be nice to be in the area. I'm looking forward to the summer here on campus (most people gone = parking spaces!). And in the fall, hopefully I'll find an awesome job to replace my summer job. Maybe I'll work part-time at Starbucks to take advantage of their dental, health, and vision benefits while leaving myself enough free time to practice, teach, and gig. A few of my friends are applying at Starbucks. And okay, sure, I bet a lot of parents feel peeved: "I didn't pay all that money for my kid to end up working at Starbucks!" But I also hope that parents whose kids are crazy about music, theater, or philosophy can realize that those majors don't exactly lead directly into a high-paying job opportunity. What's so bad about Starbucks? These things are temporary... this is a season in my life. And it might turn out to be okay.