Avoidance Techniques

I have a paper due today. What kind of professor makes a paper due over spring break? Don't these people know that it would be kinder to make it due before the break so we can enjoy a homework-free vacation?

I'm brainstorming ways to avoid writing this paper.

I think I've come up with some good ones... what do you think?

Dear Dr. A,

I was going to write that ten page paper that is due today, but I did a really intense Jillian Michaels workout DVD earlier this week, and my thighs are so sore I cannot rest my laptop on them without discomfort. Do you think I could have an extension on the paper?

Sincerely,
Sarah Marie

Do you think that would fly?

No?

Okay, how about this one:

Dear Dr. A,

I was looking forward to writing that paper today. Unfortunately, I woke up feeling a bit under the weather, and my doctor prescribed rest. No, really; she definitely told me to lie on the couch watching episodes of The Good Wife all day, and eating granola when I feel weak.

Sincerely,
Sarah Marie

Still not convincing?

Dear Dr. A,

I was so thrilled to get to finish my paper today, especially in light of the beautiful weather that we're actually having for a change, which particularly makes me want to spend time indoors doing homework. However, my religion requires that when the weather gets above 40 degrees for the first time each year, I have to go outside for a jog, or perhaps a nice long walk with my husband. I have to take my camera with me to document the beginnings of spring. I would be happy to send you a picture of bulbs pushing up through the dirt, or tree branches laden with buds filled with promise, in lieu of my paper. Would that be acceptable?

Sincerely,
Sarah Marie

Oookay.

Maybe I'd better write that paper now.